The Friend Zone, and How to Avoid It
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A question asked by one of the readers of eGirlHelp has prompted me to address this very important issue: the friend zone.
Is it possible to get out of the friend zone, and if so, how? And, how does one stay out of the friend zone? I seem to get really close to a lot of girls, then at some point find I have slipped into the friend zone. Very frustrating.
For the slow learners, I suppose an explanation of this magical zone is necessary.
The friend zone originated in 1947 when Dr. Charles Jompton did a study comparing…alright but really the friend zone is just something made up by guys which basically means the girl just wants to be friends with them. It sucks to be in the friend zone, but don’t worry, there are ways to get out of it.
Be A Man
If you find you are getting ‘close’ to girls but after a few weeks you are in the friend zone, have you ever stepped in their shoes? Maybe you are not being enough of a man. You should make a move on her or something to let her know you would like to remain out of the friend zone. After all, if you feeling you are getting close, you know you won’t get rejected when you make a move. If you choose to not act, she might start to feel you are not interested, even when you might be. This could cause you to end up in said zone, and it will be a wasted opportunity.
Don’t Be Friendly, Be Flirty
There is a fine line between friendly and flirty. Learn it, know it, live it. If you act flirty, she’ll know that you are not friend zone material. And trust me, you don’t want to be friend zone material. This holds true especially for new girls that you meet. Try not to just be ‘friendly’ with them. Playfully touch them or make subtle, yet not creepy hints at your attraction to them. Flirting can be hard at times, but one of my posts will cover it, don’t worry! Just use your current knowledge until I decide to part my wisdom onto you.
Use Your Mouth
Sounds sexual, I know, but I really didn’t mean it like that. By ‘using your mouth’, I’m referring to talking. TALK to the girl, tell her you think she is cute, and that you want to hook up with her. If you’ve already established a relationship, and trust her, she’ll either A) turn you down politely or B) say the same things back to you. Do either of those sound bad? And trust me, EVERYONE in the world gets turned down at some point. It’s better to give things a chance than to never know what could have been…
And lastly, don’t kid yourself. While some girls might have a ‘friend’ and a ‘boyfriend’ zone, you should know whether or not you are allowed in the ‘boyfriend’ zone’s court. If you be realistic when you set your female goals, you’ll have a much higher success rate.
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4 Responses to “The Friend Zone, and How to Avoid It”
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Yeah I agree to this page… You can tell with most girls if you’re setting yourself up for success or failure just by feeling the situation out. The only exception is whenever a girl is hard to read, in which that case I would give it a try b/c like mentioned above, it’s better to have tried and failed than not try at all.
I’d just like to add to the bit about being flirty…chivalry is not dead nor is it overrated. One of the best ways to make sure a girl knows that you are interested, and to spark her interest at the same time is being chivalrous.
I don’t mean throwing your coat down over a puddle or anything extreme. I’m talking about the following…
-holding doors
-pulling out her chair
-lending her a pen before she asks
-turning in her assignment when you turn yours in
-grabbing a handout for her
-saying hi to her before anyone else in the room
-carrying her books for her
Things like this show that you not only like her, you know that she deserves to be taken care of. I can’t tell you how many times those things have swayed my opinion of a guy I normally wouldn’t have looked at twice.
okay.. if you’re in the ‘friend zone’… why would you make a move?
katie is actually right here.
if you are already in the friend zone, there is almost nothing you can do about it without freaking her out.
next time, don’t get caught in the friend zone.